Saturday, January 11, 2014


He is nonchalant. Can be. He is passionate in bed. He is fun and interesting in conversation. In day to day relationship matters, he is nonchalant. Things that may get others anxious simply do not get him unglued.

I am temperamental. Can be. I am focused and calm in bed. I am smart and level headed in discussions. In day to day relationship matters, I am temperamental. Things that others wouldn't get too upset by, I become unglued.

So, of course, the universe has us meet. And it is passionate and wonderful and also not without challenges.

We've had two maybe three heart to heart conversations about where things stand between us. Tonight was the most recent one. He is amazing about talking through things. I am blessed. He heard my side, I heard his side. (We both are really on one side because we can't get away from our feelings for each other). He agreed to be more sensitive to my feelings. I agreed to make more effort to be rational. In a nutshell.

We had amazing sex. I have never felt so into it than tonight.

Who knows what the future holds? It doesn't exist. And the past is the past. What matters is we are both trying. And I've honestly never really had a relationship like that, where both are making a genuine effort. It's refreshing. And scary too. Because the more I invest my feelings, the more I have to lose.. but also to gain..

When we were making love tonight, I whispered "Daddy, daddy" softly and he couldn't hear me. He asked me to repeat what I said, so I said it louder "Daddy.. daddy.."  Him inside me and knowing he is my Daddy.. just feels like home.

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