Saturday, February 8, 2014

The fight

Daddy and i are in a pretty big fight. Told him not to text me (he wont invite me to his place and that hurts me so that's why i said it..not a great reason but the truth).Haven't heard from him since. I miss him. Our fights always stem from my not feeling appreciated, and him feeling i am too temperamental.

Honestly, i rather let him go if i need to, than to lie and pretend everything is dandy. He gets comfortable with seeing each other at a hotel a few times month. That isn't enough for me. I respect his obligations deeply. Still, at least once in a while invite me over..ya know? Let me be at least a small piece of your actual life. Otherwise, i can't help but feel like just his escape.

It's hard. Really hard and a bit painful. If we can't meet each other half way though, then both of us deserve someone who can.

Uncertain at this point.

Miss him. I want to apologize to him, but i know what I'm asking for is reasonable. I want to apologize and shove my feelings and needs under the rug, but i can't keep doing that. We both have to be honest with ourselves and each other.

Still, it hurts and sucks right now. Who knows if I will even hear from him again.